The Cryptocurrency’s Tale: 20 Crypto Jokes

Though this week’s events were fewer, they were important for the community nonetheless.

Litecoin went through its second halving, followed by no dramatic changes in the metrics, while Bitcoin shot over USD 12,000 just to drop below USD 11,500 later again. In the meantime, BITpoint resumed trading and gave more details on the hack; Binance will pay 25 BTC for help to identify its blackmailer, and the UN Security Council believes North Korea’s crypto exchange raiders have amassed USD 2B so far.

In the crypto-regulatory-land, the US Federal Reserve is reportedly “seriously considering” developing a new and faster payments system for domestic use, while even the mainstream media hails BTC as safe haven amidst a massive financial markets turmoil. A congressional financial committee will debate a “tax fix” act on crypto tax in the US, while Indian authorities are reportedly grilling crypto holders with exhaustive questionnaires. Meanwhile, an American court ruled that Coinbase will be charged with negligence for allegedly botching the launch of BCH. However, local government stablecoins are booming in South Korea, where exchanges could be set to police their customers more thoroughly and people might be token-centivised to use city bikes.

In other news, we learned what MoneyGram is using XRP for; Mastercard posted three job ads for senior-level specialists, Animoca Brands has struck a deal that will see it take over Quidd, and a crypto YouTuber scammed a crypto scammer.

Enjoy your Saturday with this fine assortment of jokes.


A disappearing act.

Accounts that were shilling altseason for the past month be like:

— TEDDY 🌐 (@teddycleps) 2 August 2019


Watch the latest reports by Block TV.

BTCitty dominance.

The Cryptocurrency’s Tale: 20 Crypto JokesSource: u/hodlorcrypt / Reddit


No bitcoin, no computer, no job… Oopsie!

When You Sold All Your #Crypto Too Early! 😁#Crypto #Bitcoin #cryptocurrency #BTC #LTC $Btc

— Łitecoin Bull (@litecoin_bull) 4 August 2019


A personal sleeping ‘pill’.

The Cryptocurrency’s Tale: 20 Crypto JokesSource: litecoinofficial / Instagram


Have you tried turning it off, waiting for 10sec, and turning it back on again, Relevant Peter Schiff?

Having some trouble backing up my wallet to floppy disk. Anybody have the phone number for bitcoin's IT support desk? Siri wasn't much help.

— Relevant Peter Schiff (@RelevantPeter) 5 August 2019


Well, this was stressful. Funny. But stressful.

same old honey badger show

— CryptoChimp (@Cryptanzee) 7 August 2019


Grab ’em all!

#bitcoin #ethereum #eth #btc $btc $eth $trx $xrp $ada $ltc #litecoin #cryptocurrency #crypto #xrp #cryptomeme #cryptomemes #leaveATip

— Breadyfreddy (@Breadyfreddy) August 4, 2019


Wooow! Look how many moneyz!

Counting those sweet alt gains. #saltseason #altseason #bitcoin

— Kristin Low (@kristinlow) 8 August 2019


Torn bills can be replaced anyway. (NB: You can’t tear Bitcoin down.)

how I pitch #bitcoin to people

— The Crypto Dog📈 (@TheCryptoDog)


A problem solver…?

Loading up on them alts…

— Panama ₿ (@Panama_TJ) 6 August 2019


Real footage.


— Richard Heart (@RichardHeartWin) 6 August 2019


"Let’s see… It’s just BTC rising above USD 12K again, carry on. Oh, it’s down again, carry on."

When you’re on a police chase through orange county but you just got a price alert on Bitcoin:

— prabhjeet🦎🔄🐊 (@jeetsidhu_) 5 August 2019


Looking for crypto kinda love.

The Cryptocurrency’s Tale: 20 Crypto JokesSource: u/hodlorcrypt / Reddit


It’s the only right way.

That's how I enter after a successful trade!#cryptotrading #memes #cryptomemes #cryptotraders #cryptoexchange #profits #investment #money #trading #bitcoin

— CabaretPerleBlanche (@PerleBlancheMtl) August 3, 2019


One has to trust the charts.

BTC big middle finger TA, can't make this up 😉 lol#Bitcoin #cryptomeme #cryptocurrency #TA

— Martin Max King (@Martin_MaxKing) August 6, 2019


A short film for your viewing pleasure.

When you and your Bitcoin friends work together to fight the FUD

— ₿rekkie von ₿itcoin☣️🍯🦡 (@CryptoBrekkie)


A safe haven they say…

— AMERICAN HODL (@americanhodl4)


Next alt season: visualisation.

The Cryptocurrency’s Tale: 20 Crypto JokesSource: u/jaggedsoft / Reddit


A thorough analysis.

#cryptocurrency #crypto #btc #ether #eth #ltc #xrp #trx #ethereum #trading #memes #comedy #altcoins #stocks #ripple #bitcoin #forex #funny #cryptomemes #cryptomeme #bitcoincash

— CryptoFunny (@crypto_funny) July 22, 2019


And for the end: a cryptosong playlist.

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